It just can’t be done. At least not by me…

I have learned in the past couple weeks that it isn’t possible for me to be everything that I need to be and do it well.  In order for me to keep up on the clean house, washed dishes, and laundry I fail at being an attentive mom, wife and friend.  When I keep up with the bills and being hands on with my kids my house becomes a disaster.  The floors get sticky, the laundry pile hits the ceiling, the dishes fill the sink and most days I don’t make it out of my pajamas.  In all of that I still don’t have the time or energy to give my husband or friends the attention they deserve.

How is it that I can’t seem to do everything but all other moms seem to have it all figured out.

Laying awake at night I go through the list of things that I didn’t accomplish during the day.  The laundry is clean but not folded, I stayed in my pajamas and never got in a work out.  Hansen only got one text/phone call from me and my friends didn’t hear from me at all.  I know that beating myself up doesn’t help things get done or figured out but my personality won’t process these ‘failings’ any other way.  Most days I get to the end completely exhausted and look around my house and wonder what I accomplished that day.  I know that things got done but what?

How do moms get everything done?  How are moms of more then two kids keeping their houses clean?  How are they keeping up with their friends?  How are they keeping their marriages happy?  How are they making sure that they get a shower?  I am lucky, some weeks, if I get 1 shower.  How is it that my friends have it all figured out and I can’t keep up.

A couple weeks ago a mommy friend directed me to this blog and I have found so much encouragement.  This post is one that I read almost every day to remind myself that I don’t have to be perfect! http://rachelmariemartin.blogspot.com/2012/08/dear-sweet-mom-who-feels-like-she-is.html My kids aren’t going to remember how clean the house is, or if I took a shower everyday.  They are going to remember the time that I spent with them.  The times that we made cookies, the times we played with trains.  Times when we read the same book 5 times in a row and the times that we turned up the music to loud and danced. The times that my little girl and I painted our toe nails to match.

In all these ‘failing’ I have to remember that until I make myself a priority no one else will.  If I don’t make the effort for a shower everyday, or a work out no one can do it for me.  I have to be willing to say, “I need some time off, away from the kids so that I can refocus and come back an even better mommy!”  The knowledge that I am not the only mom that struggles with this has not been shown to me but I know that I can’t be the only mom that struggles to do it all and do it well.

For all those moms out there that are like me on this Saturday night, sitting at home, looking around at the chores that didn’t get done for the day all the while wondering where you will get the energy for the next day, know that you are NOT alone!  I am there with you!
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