It is hard for me to believe that 3 years ago I was stressing over whether Hansen had gotten out of Iraq and was on his way home. I was stressing over a 2nd c-section and not knowing how I would react to the surgery this time. Stressing over how older brother would do when he didn’t have my 100% attention anymore. Stressing, stressing over things I had no control over. Hansen did make it home in time for the birth, the 2nd c-section went just fine and I was wanting up and out of bed before I could feel my legs. Older brother adjusted really well and absolutely loves his little sister. Looking back, I question why I considered that stress. So many things can change in 3 years.
Our little princess has brought so many laughs into our family. She has a personality that is hard to dislike and an opinion bigger then she is. She is loving, caring, funny and when she slows down long enough to hug a good snuggler. Her energy for life and all things princess exude from her to everyone that comes in contact with her. She is the blond goof ball that gives me a reason to get up everyday.
When I started planning her birthday I included her. She went back and forth on several theme’s. Princess, Tinkerbell, Peter pan and Tinkerbell, Robin Hood, Princess… Finally she decided she
wanted princess. It couldn’t be just any princess, it had to be Cinderella. Cinderella to Ayden, is the perfect princess. So, the days of princesses commenced.
My days were filled with pinterest searches, looking at the party sections of stores, searching the Internet for the perfect picture of the perfect cake, dress-up sessions, play jewelery and rare event of mommy wearing a tiara. Having a little girl can be loads of fun! Loads of work, but followed by loads of fun.
Birthday cakes have always been an issue for the past few years because I cut artificial dye’s out of our diets. I can’t just go to Walmart anymore and get a birthday cake, or DQ or Costco. All of those places make amazing cakes but they all use artificial dyes.
So, to the experiments I went. I looked at so many sites for natural dyes that I started dreaming about them. Ayden had her heart set on a Cinderella cake which meant that I had to somehow find a way to make light blue frosting. Blueberries made it a purplish pink, black berries made it a really weird purple so I tested the waters with purple cabbage.
It is said that if you boil purple cabbage, strain the liquid and then add baking soda a bit at a time you can make a bluish greenish color. What they don’t tell you, is that if you add to much backing soda you get an actually really pretty grass green color. An entire head of purple cabbage later I think I finally have the color that will work. I mix up a double batch of my cream cheese frosting and start adding the color. It just isn’t coming together. It doesn’t seem to be adding color at all. Then I start to notice a smell. The smell of boiled cabbage. I figured it was just from the head of cabbage I had boiled to get the color. I finally threw up my hands and quit mixing because I just wasn’t getting the color I wanted.
Then I tasted it.
It tasted like boiled cabbage. Worse then that it smelled like boiled cabbage. I wanted to cry! I was failing my daughter on her birthday. I couldn’t figure out how to get the color she wanted and I had just spent 4 hrs boiling cabbage to end up with a house that smelled like kymchii, instead of the light blue frosting I had been dreaming of. Now the tears ran. I was exhausted and so upset with my self that the failed attempt seemed bigger then it was.
I quit for the day.
I called Hansen and asked him what I should do. He suggested that we do raspberries folded into the frosting. I had just enough ingredients to make another batch of frosting. So that is what we did. I took the rest of that evening off. The next morning I woke up with energy and whipped up a batch of frosting to fold the raspberries into. It actually turned out really good! Better then I thought it would.
After the cake fiasco, I started thinking about how upset I got over my efforts not turning out perfect. I realized that I am a perfectionist. Now, those who are close friends and family to me please don’t laugh to hard. I knew that I am an over achiever and that my creativity can get so extravagant that I let myself down but I didn’t know that I was a perfectionist. Being a perfectionist isn’t a bad thing. What is a bad thing is when you let it rule your happiness.
Ayden could have cared less about how I made her cake, or the amount of time that I spent on it. She just wanted cake. All she cared about was that she got to eat her cake. And it was good cake! It didn’t matter whether her frosting was blue, pink or green. She turned 3 no matter what the color was.
All I know is, my daughter loves me no matter how many failed attempts at blue frosting I had. She loves the fact that I care and try to do something special for her. She would rather curl up on my lap and watch Cinderella then have me stand in the kitchen for 4 hours messing with frosting.