Things I learned after becoming a Working Mom

In October our family went through a really big shake up. After 5 1/2 yrs of being a stay at home mom I went back to work full-time. I didn’t make this decision lightly or on the spur of the moment, I agonized over this for almost a year.

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Growing up in a house with a stay at home mom I thought that was what you were supposed to do. Most of my mom friends were stay at home moms and I remember thinking how selfish those working moms were. Please don’t punish me for that thought. I actually thought that they were selfish for not spending every day, every hour with their kids. I have since learned that it isn’t true. I have learned so much about being a mom and myself since I went back to work.

1.  I am a happier and therefore a better mommy when I don’t spend every waking moment with my kids. This was the hardest for me to learn. When I was honest with myself I wasn’t happy as a stay at home mom. I resented my kids, and would pick fights with my husband. I felt trapped, run down and depressed. The transition was not easy on our family but I am finding that me working I am able to deal with melt downs and struggles better because I am not dealing with them 24/7.

2. Adding fresh basil and cream cheese to a jar spaghetti sauce makes it taste like it has cooked for hours. One of the main things I have learned is that I don’t have time to always make a made from scratch meal, and that is ok. There are ways to make spaghetti taste like it was made from scratch in less time and with less stress.

3. Making myself a priority is ok. I know as a mom I forget to take care of myself or put my needs behind everything else because my job is to take care of everyone. In reality, if I don’t feel healthy, happy and taken care of, I can’t take care of others like they needs. When I make myself a priority I am better able to take care of those close to me.

4.  I miss my yoga pants. I will say that it is nice to have a reason to dress up and leave the house but some days, I really miss my yoga pants.

5.  I had no professional clothes. I had let the mom wardrobe take over my closet.  I had let myself go. I didn’t have clothes that were right for an office setting. I got to go shopping but that in its self showed me that I really had forgotten what it was like to be a professional.

6.  It takes time and energy but eventually you find a balance.  I really struggled with this. I was upset because I couldn’t keep up. It seemed that I always had to overlook something. If I spent time with my kids the house didn’t get cleaned, if I cleaned the house then my family felt neglected. My house isn’t spotless but I have learned to let something go and that time with my family is more important. The house will always get dirty and that dirt will be there after my kids are in bed.

Those may seem simple to many but those lessons learned were big for me. Admitting that I wasn’t being the best mom I could be and it was because I was staying home with my kids all day was hard to swallow. What kind of mom was I to not be happy spending all day with my kids? Well, the short answer was an unhappy angry mom.

There seems to be a stigma among my generation that thinks you can’t be a great mom unless you stay home. Well, I can’t be a stay at home mom. Ok, I can, but I will be depressed, my house will be un healthfully dirty, and I will mostly likely get divorced because I resent the fact my husband gets to leave the house and go to work. So, I am choosing to follow my heart and be a mom that works outside the home and is happy over being a stay at home mom that can’t stand her kids.

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10 thoughts on “Things I learned after becoming a Working Mom

  1. Thank you for sharing this. It is an eye opener! I love the the fact that you are open and honest in this post. Being happier because you are not spending time with your kids 24/7. And making yourself a priority is ok. My friends would always ask me what is best, being a SAHM or work full time. I always tell them that do what makes you happy! Happy Mom == happy kids and happy household. Love love love this! Will definitely share!

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  2. I know this day will come for me one day and it’s already a scary thought. I’m glad to read your post, it gives me some confidence of when I have to face that day. I’m glad you found your solution! 🙂

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  3. Amy, you are so courageous for sharing your thoughts! I totally get it – it’s hard being the best mom we can be when we are on call 24/7 for the whole family. Sounds like the biggest lessons were on taking care of you?? Does that sound right?

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  4. Hey Miss Amy! I know we don’t get to talk as often as we used to and a coffee date (or Coldstone date) is way over due, but I wanted to tell you that I am so proud to call you my friend! Reading this blog entry in particular reminds me how wonderful of a woman you are and what amazing strength you have. Be happy, be blessed, and hug those kids for me 🙂

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  5. Amy, Thank you for sharing your personal story about workforce re-entry. I’m so glad that you shared it as I’m contemplating re-entry and am agonizing over it (which I think is totally normal). I’m so pleased to hear that you are happy with your decision and that it has made you a happier and better Mommy! Cheers to you!

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