I seem to have hit a slump in life. I can’t seem to find reasons to be happy or upbeat. I hate how I look and can’t find any clothes that fit me. Most days, I don’t want to get out of bed. I seem to just melt into the background of the world, and for now I am ok with that. Yet, I’m not.
Body shaming seem’s to be at the forefront of most people’s conversations. Clothing brands are going after each other, mom’s are picking at each other on social media. I am a woman who struggles daily with body image. I have never had a good image of my body and since having kids it has gotten worse because I am heavier than I have ever been. I don’t know how to dress my body. What I think looks cute doesn’t fit, what I want to look like seems unattainable.
That was the mind-set that I had this morning while getting ready for work. I had actually figured out an outfit that I felt good in. Loved the colors and was ok with how I felt. As I started brushing my hair I noticed something. Something that all women dread, grey hair. Those grey hairs were the last straw for me. I burst into tears staring in the mirror. Grey hair? I can’t have grey hair yet! I am to young!
At this point in our morning, the princess came into the bathroom to brush her teeth and saw me crying. Being the sensitive 4 yr old that she is, she hugged me and wanted to know why I was crying. I told her it was because mommy didn’t feel pretty and was just having a hard morning.
“But mommy, you are beautiful! You are so lucky! I wish I had glitter in my hair!”
I asked her why having glitter in her hair would be a good thing and she said,
“Because then I will look like Princess Celestia and I wish my hair glittered like hers.”
Now, I don’t know if you have ever tried to reason with a 4 yr old, but I have found it to be quite pointless. Also, telling her that having different hair would be teaching her that it wasn’t ok to be different. I strive everyday to help my kids love their bodies just as they are and that it is ok to be different. Different doesn’t mean bad, different just means different.
As I looked into her blue eye’s, I had to stop and wonder, is this why God made grey hair? To add ‘glitter’ to our lives? To make us feel special because we have strands of something different on our heads? Now, I am not saying that I expect you to be happy about your graying hair, and to be honest, I will most likely try to cover it up but it made me stop and think and realize that I am living a double standard.
I expect my kids to accept different as a good thing while I am doing everything I can do fit in to the ‘normal’ standard. I can’t expect my kids accept their long skinny legs while I can’t accept my long legs, arms and torso. I can’t expect my kids to accept their blonde hair while I do everything in my power to change the shade of brown or how much curl mine has. As mom’s it is our job to help our children accept the uniqueness that is their bodies. The amazing strength they have to run around in circles for hours and the inquisitive questions that they ask all day as something good. If we expect them to accept everything about themselves as good then shouldn’t we be doing the same?
Don’t get me wrong, I completely understand shaming yourself for not looking a certain way, but if we all looked the same our world would be so boring. I guess what I am trying to say, instead of pointing out how horrible our bodies look, or how far off we are when it comes to societies ‘normal’, lets stop, look into our kids eye’s and remember what we are trying to teach them. God created us all different. There was a reason for that, and that reason was so that our world could function. We all have different looks, different talents. We shouldn’t want to change that. We should want to embrace that and make it work for us.
So, next time you look in the mirror and see those grey hairs, remember, some 4 yr old wishes they had them so they could look like their favorite My little Pony character.